Help me feel better, Oppo. Updated with my own tales of stupidity

"n54 & s38" (straight6)
10/23/2014 at 10:43 • Filed to: None

So as I mentioned earlier, I scraped up the M5 this morning backing it into my girlfriends Acura. 25 year old car and the paint was perfect until now. Sigh. Honestly, you'd never see it unless you were looking for it and I'm so thankful that there were no dents but it still bugs me.

So please help me feel better by sharing your stories of boneheaded car-related mistakes you've made. Whether its forgetting to tighten a drain plug, having your car roll away or reversing out of your garage with the door open, I'm ready to hear it all. And thanks in advance for maybe making me feel a little less stupid and realizing that even car enthusiasts do dumb stuff sometimes. I need to laugh to keep from crying.

EDIT: thanks. You guyz are da best. Keep em coming. I'd rather try to laugh than fume about it at this point. :)

UPDATE:

It occurred that I should share mine. Thanks for replies. Ok here are the 4 that stick out in my mind. (Besides Scratching the M5 this morning)

1. This just happened the other day. Because the M5 is so old and European, you don't have to put the clutch in to start it. I just cleaned out my garage enough to make space for it but its still a little tight. The other day I was playing with the OBC on my car. Turned on the ignition with the car in first and foot off the clutch. Fortunately my right foot was on the brake and the car dies instantly. I might start leaving it in neutral with the e brake on in the garage.

2. Once being so excited upon I arrival at the Subaru dealership to go for a test drive that I forgot to put my WRX in gear or the e brake up and it started rolling. Caught it in time though. Just stupid.

3. Once, when parked on the left side of my garage, I reversed with the drivers door open. I realized in time to brake though the door smacked the door rails a bit.

4. Wrote off my first car (1988 Ford Taurus) when I was 21 by falling asleep at the wheel on the entrance to a residential community. Wasn't drinking or toking. Just dozed off for a split second around a curve. Took out three baby trees. Woke up to the sound of my buddy yelling and heading a CRACK sound! Late at night. No people or other cars around. Didnt even stop. Drove back to my friends house with the radiator shot and the front end of my car looking like an "M". Car was a writeoff.

Ok, now I'm scared to drive anywhere.

DISCUSSION (39)

Sportwägen, Driver Of The Red Sportwagen > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:46

I backed into our trashcan 3 months after getting my learner's permit.... in our 5 month old Jetta Sportwagen (now mine) :( Whoops!

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:48

Forgot to put the drain plug in twice.

My yellow beacon light fell off my work van yesterday on 95 doing 70. Luckily it was still attached by the cord but still smacking against the window and scared the crap out of me. I stuck it back up and it did it again.

Dumped straight antifreeze in my f150 and destroyed the water pump.

That's all I can think of for now.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:48

I understeered into a wall of thick snow and ice last winter, here was the end result:

Kinja'd!!!

$800 later and the car was good as new and off to it's new home.

Thunderbee - Has the engine that kids like > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:49

My mother once parked her nice, shiny Triumph Spitfire atop a steep hill, only to look back and watch as it rolled away into a lamp post. Everyone has doof moments from time to time! :)

anothermiatafanboy > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:51

Backing out of my driveway. Looked left: car coming, but at a speed that meant it would pass within a second. Look right: Nothing. I start back out and BANG! The car on the left was my cousin turning into my driveway, so he slowed down instead of passing like my stupid brain said he would. From then on I look backwards when I am driving backwards!!!

Party-vi > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:51

Funny you mention a drain plug. I changed the oil on the Willys once and forgot to plug the oil pan. I dumped 7qts of 20W50 all over the garage floor after filtering it through the engine.

There was also the time I painted the headers flat black, only to realize after starting the engine it wasn't heat paint. That was a nice smell waiting for the paint to cook and burn off...

Maddox Kay > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:55

A couple months ago, I was at Supercar Sunday with a couple of my buddies and we were about to go for a canyon run. The parking lot had staggered spaces (two spaces partially overlapped in the back with mine) and the parking lot exit lane in front of me was blocked. I had backed in, so I looked over my right shoulder and all was clear, so I started backing up. Crunch. I had hit an Evo whose space slightly overlapped with mine. Hidden in my blind spot but completely boneheaded.

Grindintosecond > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:55

Kinja'd!!!

It's okay man. You could have to drive this beater to work instead. If you did, cars would move out of your way. Perhaps you should get one of these....

midengineer > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 10:58

There was the time I let my car run for about five minutes after I drained the oil and forgot to put any back in. There's also the time I made the 20 minute commute home when I had a minor coolant leak and forgot to put the cap on. When I went to check the coolant level the next day I noticed my mistake and just about had a heart attack. Fortunately the cap had gotten wedged in the engine bay. My car has had to put up with a lot of stupidity.

jariten1781 > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:01

There was that time I forgot to reinstall the crank bolt after swapping the supercharger pulley. Drove a surprisingly long time (15 miles or so) then started hearing some rattling. Figured I'd drive another 1/2 mile to a parking lot and see what was going on. Got about 500 feet then the SC pulley and main pulley ejected under the car losing all belt driven accessories then almost instantly afterwards the radiator exploded covering the front of the car and my face/head with boiling coolant.

Good times.

AM3R > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:02

Pictures of damage? You may be able to detail it out. If it's just some paint transfer, Clay will work wonders.

Dumbest move ever: before my friends and I were licensed, we sat in the drive thru and dug for change in his dad's leased Accord, which was being turned in the next day. He reached for a coin in the backseat and accidentally took his foot off the break. Not the proudest moment for either of us haha.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:06

Well last week I hooked the battery up backwards in my accord...

Nibbles > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:08

Showing off for the redhead in high school, I fishtailed through a gravel 90° only to overcorrect and slam my crapcan into a near-new Mustang GT

I totaled that crapcan by hillhopping and bending the body. Also hitting that GT didn't help

Once when hillhopping in my old Cavalier (not the crapcan), I took a large jump and landed my passenger wheels on a piece of concrete. One wheel shot, one wheel slightly bent, no other damage

Went out into the wash with my buddies to get high. In my 2WD Toyota pickup. With an LSD. Smoked a bit then buried the rears to the pumpkin before we realized what was going on

Hooned mom's Crown Vic, got away with it

Hooned pop's F-250, got away with it. 460s are burnout monsters with 4.10 rears

Regularly pissed off the cops, knowing their Caprices couldn't handle the oilfield roads like I could. That ended when they bought a Blazer (GMT400 FTW) and waited at my regular backroad entry point

There's plenty more of jr high/high school stories if you want them :)

EL_ULY > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:09

I got a funny one for you buddy :]

When I was a tech at a Lexus dealer, we worked every 3rd Saturday from 8-2. We couldn't go to lunch so they would buy us something and at 12, everyone stops and goes to the break room. The car I was working on (ES350 with stupid 22 inch chrome wheels and like 4 different wheel locks) was a waiting customer and all I had left was the rotation then throw it in line for a car wash. Rushing to get something to eat before it runs out, I finished up and started pulling back. then... I start hearing something rolling on the ground. I look over and see lugs nuts on the ground.... "wait....are those my lug nu...." BOOOOM!!!!

Driver's front wheel takes off and the car falls hard. "oh shit oh shit oh shit!!!" I get out... look if anyone saw what happen. I was clear. I rushed to get a jack, picked it up, put the wheel back on, then drove carefully to the carwash bay. Do damage but there was a small, barely noticeable squeak while driving....... "nah it'll be fine, they won't notice" Car got shipped and they never complained :]

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Grindintosecond
10/23/2014 at 11:12

Kinja'd!!!

Hey, now. That beater has serious potential.

Grindintosecond > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/23/2014 at 11:18

I wonder what would get more attention at Cars & Coffee? This in mint condition, the above in absolute apocalypse condition, or a shiny Ferrari everyone else has?

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:18

I was using Plasti-Dip to paint some accents on my truck. Grill went from chrome to matte black as did the fender flares and bumpers. I had just finished the second coat on the rear bumper. I stood back and started to admire it a little bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a few kids on there bikes riding towards me (I'm on the end of a cul-de-sac). I payed no attention to it and started walking back to the garage when all of a sudden CRASH! Two kids ran head on into the bumper of my truck at an angle. Stripped nice long pieces of the black right off (plus pretty much everything that was still wet). I was pissed. The kids where pissed (about the paint all over them). The parents came out and BLAMED ME! they said I shouldn't be painting the truck in my driveway. Told me it was sticking out to far. As soon as they said that, I looked at the truck and, without words, showed them that it can't be pulled up any farther and that not only was the sidewalk completely clear of my truck, so was about 2 or 3 feet of my driveway. They didn't like that. Kept yelling while taking their kids home. I hate people sometimes.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Party-vi
10/23/2014 at 11:19

The real lesson here? Don't do cocaine.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Grindintosecond
10/23/2014 at 11:22

I figure that the Cougar in apocalypse condition would at least attract massive horror, probably enough to tip the overall attention balance in its favor. Positive attention, though, an absolutely perfect Cougar would probably win.

OPPOsaurus WRX > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:30

i went into a parking lot at 45 when i was 16. i didnt see it coming and just cranked the wheel as quick as i could. We'll say there was some paint exchanged with the first car in the lot.

I slid down an ice hill and stopped with my truck on the front right tire and rear left tire with the front left hanging over a stone wall with only a little tree holding me back from falling over. my right rear was 3' in the air.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Party-vi
10/23/2014 at 11:32

i changed the oil once and didnt notice the old seal stuck to the car. the new filter didnt feel like it was sitting right but i figured it must just be how the new one was. I shot oil all over the place when i started it up. shut it down real quick figured it out added some more oil and it was fine.

RotaryLover > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 11:36

I trade-in my NC with a Civic Hybrid 12....

n54 & s38 > AM3R
10/23/2014 at 11:49

pics forthcoming shortly

n54 & s38 > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again.
10/23/2014 at 11:50

oh no! Any damage?

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 12:01

Well I blew the main fuse. It cranks and the fuel pump primes but it's not firing. I'll try boosting it tonight and see if the battery is just not charged enough.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > K-Roll-PorscheTamer
10/23/2014 at 12:01

Car looks all "I fucking love cocaine!!!"

jpunk > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 12:02

In the parking lot at karaoke night with some friends, I've got everyone's attention so I could show off the sound of my new muffler. Lots of thumbs-ups and smiles.

I back the car up and around a dumpster to leave the lot... and scrape the rear passenger side door on a concrete pole I hadn't seen on the other side of the bin. Lots of paint lost and the door's dented as well. Fortunately I had a near-religious encounter with a great guy in a lifted truck who told me the best shop in town for getting bodywork done.

n54 & s38 > AM3R
10/23/2014 at 12:34

Right here: http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/pics-of-the-da…

n54 & s38 > Nibbles
10/23/2014 at 12:34

Emphasis on HIGH.

Nibbles > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 12:42

I smoked so much weed back then

pip bip - choose Corrour > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 12:47

understeered Skoda Felicia diesel hatch rental into ditch in the north of Scotland in 2000. the towtruck driver never pulled anyone out of where i put it as almost everyone usually regained control before stuffing it into stone barrier 100ft down the road. oh yeah do rentals count?

Mercedes Streeter > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 12:50

Backed into a log when leaving a party last year. Thankfully these are cheap to fix.

Kinja'd!!!

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 20:21

It started! It took a while just cranking it, but it finally caught. I think I heard something crunch when I was testing the clutch though... Now I'm a bit scared...

n54 & s38 > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again.
10/23/2014 at 21:06

uh oh! What could be crunching? Are you worried about your computer/ECU?

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > n54 & s38
10/23/2014 at 22:49

Well I had it up on stands and went to check if the clutch would grab. It seemed to, I decided to brake a bit while maintaining throttle in first to replicate load on the engine. I heard a soft thunk, and now it won't grab it seems. I'm looking just no to see if I need to adjust the clutch or something. As far as electrical issues go, it just seems like I blew the passenger window fuse, the drivers side still works. I'm hoping it's a fuse at least.

thebigbossyboss > EL_ULY
10/25/2014 at 16:45

Did something similar on my own car not too long ago.

Got a flat around april, so I just swapped over to summer tires. I started driving and heard a thunk thunk thunk noise.

Pull over as soon as I can...and realize my left rear only had hand tightened lugs.

thebigbossyboss > Osiris - I can haz Euro spec?
10/25/2014 at 17:30

That sucks. I hate parents who think their kids are incapable of doing wrong.

EL_ULY > thebigbossyboss
10/25/2014 at 19:37

oh dang! Way too scary. I wonder if the thunks were during braking or driving at a certain speed

thebigbossyboss > EL_ULY
10/25/2014 at 19:40

I was going pretty slow (thankfully). Was a constant thunka thunk but in relation to the tire speed obviously.